Song – Filthy Jewel

Lace yourself with gold and silver, this you’ve done with ease

The silk caresses your body, you pride now the prime 

The world rejects people like you for causes oh so just, but you love yourself too much to see the target on your back 

Don’t hesitate with your choices when it comes to you and your ego, you never have and you never will so no point in starting now 

It will fade away, simply fade away, everything you’ve ever loved. For love of such materials mean nothing but disgust. You put your ego above all else and wonder why the hate; beware your fall is coming and it will be in fine taste

You whisper into ears like a evil succubus and everyone tends to succumb, even fate couldn’t stop my fall from grace

But you mean nothing now, nor to me, them, or you; your ego is pathetic you see and hell is your final tomb 

It will fade away, simply fade away, everything you’ve ever loved. For love of such materials mean nothing but disgust. You put your ego above all else and wonder why the hate; beware your fall is coming and it will be in fine taste

We’ll discard you now as you mean nothing, you’re lower than dirt it seems, once worn on a finger of royalty, well now you’re a peasants bed

We laugh and laugh all night long as you tremble at our feet, your a piece of filth forevermore, and this is one true feat 

It will fade away, simply fade away, everything you ever loved. For love of such materials mean nothing but disgust. You put your ego above all else and wonder why the hate; beware your fall is coming and it will be in fine taste.

Poem – Uninspired Touch

(Inspired by the song Shadow Life by Slash ft. Myles Kennedy and the Conspirators –

When we touch do you feel the cold, the missing heart within it all

It’s been draining within, is it you or me

Why have you changed your ways so; do you care for the life anymore? 

The secrets you’ve kept from me have been nothing but damning, as your arrogance has been oh so self inflating 

Left to our own devices do you even choose to think, or have you willingly chose to erase us all 

Eviscerated love from within your soul, you have brought this misery upon us all 

This shadow life you’ve eagerly chose to portray is nothing but twisted delusions, yet the smile on your face shows that it’s the life you want to willingly perfect

How long can the pleas last until you return to me? Do turn around and show me all but your back 

I loved you and know that I did, but I can’t love what I no longer know 

I’m sorry. 

Poem – Short Life

Have you ever looked up to stars in search of something more; praying and hoping your chance will come in any form right now 

You’re not alone if you find yourself still waiting; but don’t feel down because of this, as you time is still just coming

In life not much truly matters and that’s okay to know, just keep yourself safe and the ones you care for more 

I don’t want to alarm you, but what they say is bleak; life is just so short, so live it pride and true 

These words mean nothing right now oh that’s fair to say, but please look back when you’re older; you know that I am right. 

Blog Update – Moving Forward

Finally there are some positive changes coming my way. After what felt like an eternity battling myself and my surroundings; things are looking up. I’m so tired of dwelling upon the past, I’m more than ready to let it all go now; to move on and keep moving on. To grasp the happiness that’s always been in front of me. 

Not only that, I’m finally getting my things in order, things that I have been running away from for a while now. Getting my finances squared up, looking for more of a positive outlook on things included. Also a move is on the way.

I haven’t done a move out of the blue like this in a few years; but perhaps it’s the breath of fresh air my life urgently needs right now. Leaving a backwards town and being closer to the city and a larger populace. And I’m moving home. Moving back close to my hometown. 

To explain where I live now I’m not giving many positive words to use. Sure it has a couple of nice beaches and other locations, but isn’t really “younger generation-friendly” as it’s so limited. I’m 23 and I don’t need a whole lot to keep me entertained, but for where I am living now, it’s just not enough. And having my daughter and another baby on the way, it’s just not far for them, especially knowing what I grew up around as a kid.

I took everything for granted the first time I lived there, but this time ’round I’m going to be making the most of it; family adventures, getting engrossed in some culture, learn new things; I need a revamp, a complete reconstruction; and this is it. I literally have the change that I want at my fingertips and it’s fast approaching. It gives me an overwhelming sensation on the inside knowing that this is all coming to fruition. 

February 2012 I left the city life and moved to a country town 400kms away. The move was a quickly thought up idea and happened in what felt like a blink of the eye. It did not take me very long to regret this move but we went all in with the idea. It only took 2 years for things to become pear-shaped due to dying industries I lost my job which I have mentioned in old blogs. Then after those two years came a turbulent lifestyle of ups and downs. Some very good things and other very bad things. But we have always just rolled with the punches. 

Now it’s June 2017, 5 years and 4 months later.. and I’m about to move back to where I left, the place I took for granted and should have appreciated more. The longing I’ve had for a place has never been so strong. And I know what I’m returning to will not be the same; to have those expectations is downright ludicrous; but I will make it what I want it to be in my mind, and it will be glorious. Can you tell I am just a little bit excited? 

To know that I can visit theme parks, zoos, the city, quiet towns, busy towns.. anything and everything.. don’t take this for granted, as I have done. I don’t know what the future will bring, but I will be there with both arms ready to grasp anything thats given to me! 

Poem – I Will Rise

I’ve been held down for too long now, now I want nothing more than a victory song 

I’ve lapsed over and over for god knows how long, but I’m going to stand now, above all to be all

You won’t find me wollowing away in self pity, living in the dark, giving up on reachable hope

Through the madness I lived, experience I’ve gained, now is the time to test, “what doesn’t kill you only..” 

From the ashes I will rise, like a Phoenix to the sky

I’m sick of this fall, now watch me rise. 

“You’ve seen my descent, now watch my rising” – Jalaluddin Rumi.

Poem – Land of Lethargy 

My actions are motionless though I stay in motion, thoughts of anger stirring within 

Why can’t I find that place, once gained and truly unleashed 

For my thoughts are against me; but today on I ask for you to join my side 

Slow motion is my now, heaving and puffing with no actions at all 

Lethargic lethargy, pain formed within

Let me go and cling to the time; don’t hold me back, my beginning is now

For this land of lethargy is not for me now

Poem – Restart Me

Ensnared by your lust-filled filth, hell bound is all but just 

Marks on my body you’ve left, as if I’ve been touched by Beelzebub himself 

Yet I survived your devilish ways, sparked by background incantations 

I live and live I do, your mockings mean nothing now

My mind wasn’t ready for such a tormented lifestyle; the struggle was raw only within

But aforementioned I’ll continue; you can hold me down, you won’t hold me back 

I now stand before you, not the same one, but a one nonetheless, that’ll forever carry on

Welcome to the rewritten me. 

Finding Light In The Darkness

Slipping from my grip, I thought that I lost it allMy future felt so bleak, doomed and so relentless 

The never ending pulling backwards and forwards; it felt that life was over

Positivity drained and darkness embraced; a one way ticket to the exit lane 

But like finding light in a cave; life is starting to stir again 

I don’t expect to be the same; as my faults are forever scarred for me to bear

But the book must continue on and I’ll write on; ’cause life ain’t forever so we must go on 

Denied myself happiness for far too long; but it’s been there this time and all along

So I’ll pick myself up from this earth and dust off my hands; for works to be done starting now and forevermore. 

Poem – Worry

I worry about this, about everything and all

I worry what’ll become, from now and beyond 

I worry that you; in sense of what’s lost 

The pain I have, the pain I caused  

The pain you have, the pain was caused  

The foretelling of our future is foggy and lost

I’ve lost it all, no matter what I could gain

Save me from slipping, I’m reaching out my hand

Will I find yours, or anyone’s at all?

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