Poem – I Will Rise

I’ve been held down for too long now, now I want nothing more than a victory song 

I’ve lapsed over and over for god knows how long, but I’m going to stand now, above all to be all

You won’t find me wollowing away in self pity, living in the dark, giving up on reachable hope

Through the madness I lived, experience I’ve gained, now is the time to test, “what doesn’t kill you only..” 

From the ashes I will rise, like a Phoenix to the sky

I’m sick of this fall, now watch me rise. 

“You’ve seen my descent, now watch my rising” – Jalaluddin Rumi.


Poem – Land of Lethargy 

My actions are motionless though I stay in motion, thoughts of anger stirring within 

Why can’t I find that place, once gained and truly unleashed 

For my thoughts are against me; but today on I ask for you to join my side 

Slow motion is my now, heaving and puffing with no actions at all 

Lethargic lethargy, pain formed within

Let me go and cling to the time; don’t hold me back, my beginning is now

For this land of lethargy is not for me now

Poem – Restart Me

Ensnared by your lust-filled filth, hell bound is all but just 

Marks on my body you’ve left, as if I’ve been touched by Beelzebub himself 

Yet I survived your devilish ways, sparked by background incantations 

I live and live I do, your mockings mean nothing now

My mind wasn’t ready for such a tormented lifestyle; the struggle was raw only within

But aforementioned I’ll continue; you can hold me down, you won’t hold me back 

I now stand before you, not the same one, but a one nonetheless, that’ll forever carry on

Welcome to the rewritten me. 

Finding Light In The Darkness

Slipping from my grip, I thought that I lost it allMy future felt so bleak, doomed and so relentless 

The never ending pulling backwards and forwards; it felt that life was over

Positivity drained and darkness embraced; a one way ticket to the exit lane 

But like finding light in a cave; life is starting to stir again 

I don’t expect to be the same; as my faults are forever scarred for me to bear

But the book must continue on and I’ll write on; ’cause life ain’t forever so we must go on 

Denied myself happiness for far too long; but it’s been there this time and all along

So I’ll pick myself up from this earth and dust off my hands; for works to be done starting now and forevermore. 

Poem – Worry

I worry about this, about everything and all

I worry what’ll become, from now and beyond 

I worry that you; in sense of what’s lost 

The pain I have, the pain I caused  

The pain you have, the pain was caused  

The foretelling of our future is foggy and lost

I’ve lost it all, no matter what I could gain

Save me from slipping, I’m reaching out my hand

Will I find yours, or anyone’s at all?

Poem – Twisted To Conformity 

A sideshow I’ve become, on the in and the out

Hanged above for all to witness, my actions to wicked for them to understand me 

Set aflame as I was for months, judgment day will come, I am lost in that thought 

Mistakes are mine to bare, but you’ve been hurt in return that, I am aware

They won’t put me out of my misery for this I’m not sure why, perhaps they can see a bit of peace for me and my sick mind

I’ll call out your name, several in fact, but only one, will try to help me from these pyres

I dream of the days that my hands were unbound, free from such slumbers that have cast me such doubts

Running free like in films of grandiose conclusions, but I’m best to remember that actors just act 

Kill me, I dare the gods, free me now, for pain itself, of my own is worse than theirs 

I’m lost now to the flames of my own, I don’t know what’s to come, never did, never will 

Happy Third Birthday, Caitlin

In a time of mental turmoil, you came to be

A creation of pure love and happiness, we were blessed with thee

I remember holding you in my thoughts for months to follow, left in awe just knowing what’s to come

Finally the day came, brown hair and hazel eyes a baby laid

Tears blurred my vision with you in my arms, I am just lucky to know you, but in reality I am your Dad

Three years long I have watched you now, and of those years there isn’t a moment that I would return

For You my Daughter, there is nothing I wouldn’t do to see you smile

For You my Daughter, I would do anything to keep you safe

I love you my little Melody,

My Caitlin Blair

Love Dad.

My Passion of Writing 

So I’m doing it. My dream, my goal, whatever you want to call it; I’m doing it. I’ve wanted to write for so long. I’ve always had creative thoughts running through my mind for as long as I can remember, and that along with loving to write; I’m finally going to put them together. Hell, I’m left handed and bipolar.. surely it’s been destined. 

I’ve just wrote up my first proper short story. It’s title at the moment is “Jeffery Simon’s Dilemma”. It’s currently in its editing phase. It’s pleasing to me as this is the furtherest I’ve gone with actually stepping towards getting something properly published. This is not taking away what I blog and the poems I post because I find WordPress quite marvellous. But to actually have some work actually published.. it’s a dream coming true. 

The story may be simple and short (at the moment it’s around 2000 words, but short stories are short.. right?) but it’s my first proper story. I don’t know exactly what steps come next but I’m just going to go with the flow and take it as it comes. Here’s to the best anyway! 

Poem – The World

The world will chew you up and spit you out, that we can’t deny

Like sheep without a shepherd, we have all lost our way; embroidered in our minds is the way of greed and fame

Do you know how to play this game, the game that’s called life; as it’s very testing for all, any many become insane 

Even when you’ve lost the game, people still look for hope; but sorry my dear friend, all but is lost and gone 

Do you see the writings on the wall, scribble and etched all abound, don’t mistake this for instructions, as they all fell the same

You’ll gamble it all at once, this I know for sure, your fathers and forefathers did before you, it’s left within your blood

Do you know how to play this game, the game that’s called life; the game will chew you up and spit you out, that we can’t deny. 

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