Finding Light In The Darkness

Slipping from my grip, I thought that I lost it allMy future felt so bleak, doomed and so relentless 

The never ending pulling backwards and forwards; it felt that life was over

Positivity drained and darkness embraced; a one way ticket to the exit lane 

But like finding light in a cave; life is starting to stir again 

I don’t expect to be the same; as my faults are forever scarred for me to bear

But the book must continue on and I’ll write on; ’cause life ain’t forever so we must go on 

Denied myself happiness for far too long; but it’s been there this time and all along

So I’ll pick myself up from this earth and dust off my hands; for works to be done starting now and forevermore. 

Advertisements

Working!

Well, it’s been a little while since I wrote my last blog, so much for keeping it a regular thing, oh well, I’ll get there.

In my first blog I mentioned how I was jobless, receiving a redundancy package that I guess you could call average, and attempting to live off of that for a couple of months, while you have a baby and your partner is on unpaid maternity leave.. Yeah, it hurt.

But In a sense I don’t regret it happening at all! We’ve learnt so much. We know we can tighten the belt to a minimum extent of we need to just to get by, we know how to budget better then ever now, I was able to spend good quality family time, strengthening the family bond, have time to be able to reflect on myself and decide which direction to go in, make a couple of risks, play some damn good games, and for once, in a long time, I was happy.

Sure money was dwindling away faster than you can say dwindle, and the stresses were constantly on your mind of what bills had to be paid, and if and when we can eat. But being able to spend good quality time with the ones I loved, doing the things I enjoy doing, it made me realise life wasn’t all that bad.

What really helped was when my partner returned back to work about the mid way of me being out of work. It was only for a couple of days a week but it was an income. But, that’s when you start to feel shitty because you’re the one that is relied upon, and you’re not contributing to the bills at all. Perhaps I reflected on that aspect a little too much, but in reality, I can’t say that was a bad thing.

60 résumés in a month = 1 job interview = 0 successful jobs = 😦

I even completed a course over the time and was told that I was guaranteed a job as a result of the completions. Well I can assure you, that was a lie. So after time was wasted and the hopes of a job was slipping away, I retreated into my mind, I felt I was going crazy!

I started reflecting on all what was bad, and how nothing will workout and how homelessness is a possibility.. As you can see, I was thinking way.. WAY too much into this.

Then all of a sudden, out of the blue I received a phone call for a job. I didn’t even apply for the job. I spray paint, that is what my last job consisted of. Well this company saw my work and was impressed (yeah, I blushed when I heard this) and they wanted to skip all interviews and just get me working, I agreed without delay!

Set to start it 2 weeks, I had to complete all the formalities, paperwork, medical checks, drug checks, the lot! And then I started to doubt myself. Doubt the job. Didn’t I really want to go back to an industry I so desperately wanted to leave? will it cause me to slip back into the void? Was it worth it? I was getting cold feet. Or was it just laziness perhaps.

Well the two weeks came and went and without backing out, I finally went back into “the grind”. Knowing that I have a family, this was not the time to back out now. But I’m glad I didn’t! The money is increasingly better, the people I work with are cheerier than my last, the hours are far more suitable for my liking. I’m actually enjoying work life, which is so rare for me. I couldn’t ask for much more now, and now the time to save is here! Life shall improve with leaps and bounds as weeks progress, and a happy life shall continue!

.. I never know how to conclude these things.. So.. Maybe just like th..

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

Meliorate

Wherever art appears, life disappears.

A Writer's Soul

"Diving into a writers soul is discovering the broken treasure and beautiful mysteries that make you gasp for air."

The Renegade Press

Tales from the mouth of a wolf

Sara in LaLaLand

Welcome to my world.