I claim to be a few things. I claim to be a good worker, I claim to be a good father, I claim to be a good partner, I claim to be a “chilled” person, I claim to be a reader, I claim that I love to write and I claim to be creative amongst other things. But I think I tend to bite more than I can chew with this whole.. claiming thing.
For example, I have quite a book collection, mostly filled with Stephen King of course (such a genius). But I can honestly admit that I’ve completed around 10-15% of that books I own.. and I thought I claimed to be a reader and a lover of stories.
As I said earlier, I claim to be “chilled”.. now if you’re wondering what the fuck that means, I’m pretty much saying I’m laid back.. really laid back. But I’m honest reality, that’s a lie. I go through phases in my life were I feel beyond laid back.. but really.. it’s called careless and reckless. And I’m one of the most highly strung people in most situations that I know of.. so that claim can go burn.
I’ve made horrendous errors in my relationship, catastrophic errors. Ones that I can’t take back, I’ve aired them out (which sometimes I don’t know was the best decision) but nonetheless, shined me in a light that I’ve never been under before. So that throws doubt into my claim of being a good partner.
And now this blog. I enjoy it, lets me remove the mask a little, unburden myself and just to let loose a little. Talking to a crowd that mostly don’t know who I am in person, it’s a pretty incredible feeling. I can relate it to like talking to a wall, but I like that.. but I feel a writer’s block coming on.. already. Sad isn’t it. I thought “hey, I’ll stick to it this time”, well, maybe, maybe not. We’ll jus see how I go.
So my claims, whether I’m just a really good faker, a straight out fucking liar, confused or just still trying to find my footing in this abyss; I guess all I’m going to keep doing is just keep claiming away!