I sit here, in the back of my car outside of my workplace writing this, as firstly I don’t really trust myself to drive at this moment, and secondly, I don’t really want to return home yet.
Life isn’t complicated, you are born, you live out your life how ever the way you want to, no one will ever hold you back. The decisions you make are yours and yours alone. And then it all comes to a rather anti-climatic end, the eternal sleep – death.
Like I said, life isn’t complicated, but our endless choices and decisions we make is what complicates things. And then there are some things that are given to you, that you never asked for or wanted, and you can’t take it back, you can’t be fixed and you are stuck like it for entire existence.. Hell essentially, without the whole hellfire and brimstone aspect.
And then there is also a way to “double-fuck” yourself, by being “broken goods” as well as making terrible decisions at the same time. Even in some instances, the thing that breaks you is also the thing that causes you to fuck up. But that is also a slippery slope because you make your decisions, no one else, but sometimes ailments can also help push you in the wrong direction.
This is all so very vague, and I’m sure in future hindsight this will all be a load of shit to read. But meh, at this point in time, I don’t give a fuck.